Recently, I’ve been dealing with some hard things in my life. Nothing life threatening or relationship damaging. But hard nonetheless. Things that don’t seem fair and I’m having a hard time seeing the positive and having hope. I was sharing my feelings with a friend the other day and she just looked at me and said, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That really sucks.” And then she gave me a hug.
Life is hard. Life can give us really difficult things to face. Some are fleeting. Others stay with you for a long time. And it’s during these hard times that it’s really nice to confide in someone. To spill your guts and not think about how irrational or negative your thoughts might be. To not have to think through exactly how you’re feeling. It might change in 30 minutes. It might not. But what you don’t need to hear from the person you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings with is an insincere, “That’s too bad.” Or “well at least…” and then name something that is clearly worse than your current circumstances but doesn’t make you feel any better and might even make you feel worse.
Sometimes, all you need is for someone to say, “I’m sorry. Life isn’t fair and what’s happening to you sucks.” That’s it. You don’t need them to solve your problem. You don’t need them to try and find the silver lining. You just need to know that they hear you and they are sorry that your life is hard right then.
Obviously, I’m not saying that you should complain about every single bad thing that happens to you. Doing that will just make you and those around you unhappy. I’m referring to the times when you are trying to be strong and deal with something that is genuinely hard and you just need to get the frustration or sadness or whatever you’re feeling out. It’s during those times that you should find someone to talk to. A person you can trust to not make you feel worse. A person who loves you. Someone who will simply say, “I’m sorry. This is a hard thing. You’re not alone.”
So if you’re going through something hard right now, I’m sorry. That is a hard thing. And you are not alone.